Power and Control

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Domestic violence stems not from any particular group of people or segment of society but rather from one individual's need to wield power and control over another. This individual will use any means to maintain their position of dominance within a relationship. In this regard it is important to understand that ‘violence’ in this dangerous dynamic refers to many types of abuse. It is most commonly understood that domestic violence involves physical and sexual abuse. This can absolutely be the case. What is also important to understand is there are other forms of domestic abuse which are equally harmful and criminal in nature. The U.S. Department of Justice identifies physical, sexual, emotional, economic and psychological abuse as crimes. The general public is largely unaware of this full array of domestic abuse.

In my next few blogs I will help readers identify what specific behaviors may be apparent when emotional, economic and/or psychological abuse is present in a relationship. Identification of these behaviors can help a family member or friend effectively aid a DV victim, or even help a loved one fully realize that the relationship they are in is not a healthy one. For a victim who does understand the danger that they are in it is much easier to disclose abuse when they know someone to go to who is empathetic and informed. Victims need to feel that they are believed and understood, even if they can not articulate many details of the abuse. They do not need or want to be peppered with questions as if they are on trial. They want the urgency of their situation to be understood and they need guidance on where to go and what to do.  More on that later -


Next up:  Understanding Emotional Abuse.

Understanding Economic Abuse

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Economic abuse is when someone wields all the financial power in a relationship and uses that power to control their partner. Not allowing a partner to work or to attend school in an effort to earn their own income is common in abusive relationships. It is important to understand that the relationship may not have begun in such a financially unbalanced way. Many women take leave of their jobs to raise children. This can be an extremely vulnerable time and when abuse may peak. Furthermore, putting a partner on an ‘allowance’ or forcing them to ask for money like a child is degrading, controlling and abusive. Not sharing household income/expense information or denying access to household funds is a primary method that abusers employ to keep their partners from leaving. Many women face an uncertain future, including poverty and homelessness, after leaving their abuser if economic abuse has been present in the relationship.