October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month - FYI

The STATE OF CALIFORNIA Bravery Award for Being Female and Reporting Criminal Conduct To The Appropriate Authorities:

1)  FOR REPORTING Domestic Violence

      YOU GET: Kidnapping and Torture

2)  FOR REPORTING Police Misconduct

      YOU GET:  Professionally Sideswiped in Your Car and Years of Harassment

3)  FOR REPORTING Sexual Assault

     YOU GET: Tasered in a parking lot by friends of the assailant who work in law       enforcement.

AND…

Chronic and Severe PTSD.

Fear of Law Enforcement Officers and the inability to drive safely in an entire city.

The loss of all practical use your dominant arm and chronic pain, as well as a stalker on the loose to disturb your mental peace every waking moment of every day.

Everything

I gave everything I had

to my children.

And then he ate them.

2019

I met

the handsome surgeon

in 1989 and we were secretly

married later that year

in a courthouse

in San Bernardino

by a lady with a beehive hairdo

and false eyelashes

so we could stay in my home country while we planned our wedding

in 1990 which was followed by our honeymoon and the

mysterious disappearance of my passport

on our flight home from paradise.

In 1994 he worked on cadaver arms in the garage and

stored them in the freezer in the laundry room

but one of them had fingernails that were long, painted 

female

although that didn’t matter because the prestigious American Society for Surgery of the Hand

liked his resultant work and accepted him into their elite membership.

We had a child

and then another child

and then I had knee surgery

and he wheeled me, still attached to the I.V., past the objecting nurse to bring me home to

rig the tube over the sconce over 

our bed

so he could use the port in my arm to stuff a syringe full of morphine into my vein

to watch me scream and writhe.

 And then it happened sometime that night.

The morning brought children to see

Is mommy ok?

Yes, I’m fine, don’t worry

sit here, let’s read a story.

Let’s read a story it will all be okay, 
because

we have preschool and playgrounds

mommy-and-me art, 

swim and dance

And sometimes,

he took us on vacation

But then lots of money disappeared and 

lots of porn showed up.

Objections were met with a jut-jawed, muscle pumped, clench fisted 

my-way-or-the-highway response.

So I left.

But I could not protect the children because everyone thought that this was all fine

even after I filed the police report

which made things worse because he had me abducted by local cops and stuffed

into a looney bin an hour outside of town.

Then the judge gave him full custody of the kids for a job well done.

23 days later I was returned home in a cab.

One month after that I got my 60% custody of the kids back 

along with the worsening of my PTSD.

The children grew up.

I grew in a flat line.

One child left for college, and when the second child turned 18 we went on a trip.

Luggage borrowed from their surgeon father bore an airport barcode sticker from the month before with my name on it and several small articles of women’s clothing inside.

Anger fueled courage took me fleet-footed sticker in hand to his door demanding

“What the hell is this?!”

to which I received jut-jawed growl “I-have-no-idea!” door slam.

I left a message on the TSA tip line.

They did not return my call.

The 18 year old left for college.

I left the county.

Then I wrote a book.

And talked to lots of people.

And left a message on the FBI tip website.

And I would like to hire a lawyer but I don’t have the money to buy one

like he does

or the powerful friends

like he does

to buy or barter for Justice

or safety or peace of any kind.

So I keep writing it all down 

so that my blood pressure doesn’t rocket up

bursting capillaries on my face

as my income stream slopes downward against the reality of my rent

and I hope I don’t get evicted while I wait

for someone, anyone, to figure out 

Who?

Exactly who,

is this man?

In pursuit of Justice

Today marks the 12th anniversary of my abduction from my home, lasting 23 days, coordinated by my ex-husband and local police.  I am still seeking Justice!

Please check my book page for the latest update:

https://www.facebook.com/JusticeforDVsurvivors/

Summer Success

***************************************************************************************************************

In July the California Partnership To End Domestic Violence announced that they had, 

“...succeeded in procuring an additional $20 million in California’s final state budget: $10 million for domestic violence shelters and services, $5 million for the family violence prevention program, and $5 million for rape crisis centers.”

This is certainly a hopeful development, and highlights the tremendous importance of strong agencies of advocacy.  As a survivor it is very heartening to read the organizational literature regarding the needs of survivors going forward:

“In addition to our recent gains, survivors still need 360 degree support after immediate crises—especially when seeking a permanent, stable, safe place to live. Flexible funding for housing and other support services are essential. Survivors also deserve more options for justice and healing—including restorative and transformative justice.”

Welcome

Created for Victims of Domestic Violence 

and anyone who knows one.

Because everyone should care.

Sheer Will

Before she knew he was a

Big Bully with tiny thoughts

the Petite Woman, full of heart

hired him to bring forth

her art.

But Big Bully Tiny Thoughts

and

Petite Woman Full of Heart

CLASHED.

He did not like her

strength and determination,

this mother of two young children,

and felt

threatened

by her loving nature.

So Big Bully Tiny Thoughts

tried to destroy

Petite Woman Full of Heart

by assaulting

her body

and desecrating 

her art.

But She will RISE

She will be SEEN

She will be HEARD.

She 

WILL.